I’ve had a hard time this morning getting work done. One of my youngest, Vanessa, caught a cold and she’s been whining all day long about how clogged her nose is and frustrated she was when she couldn’t really feel the taste of her breakfast cookies and breastmilk.
Vanessa turned 3 years old last November but there are things (like coughing or a tummyache) she’s hasn’t developed a patience for, while her twin brother has and for a long time already. You can really tell their personalities from these behaviors, and even though they are not identical twins, I feel I could have told one from another all the same.
I’m saying this because some people told me twins might have similar personalities. Well, that might be true in some cases, but it’s definitely not a general rule and my twins defy it at all.
Vanessa is growing into a lively girl with little patience, but I disagree with those who tell me “well, if she doesn’t learn patience now, she’ll be like this forever”.
Ah, nope. I always taught my children to be patient in the face of the obstacles of life. My older kids can guarantee for that. However, every child’s personality is different and influences the process. With some of my kids it was easier; with others, like Vanessa, not as much, but it’s okay, because I know she’ll learn to be more patient over time.
Here is how I teach her patience:
- I tell her that what is frustrating her now will soon be gone; maybe today, maybe tomorrow or it might take a bit longer. I ask her “remember how you had a tummyache a month ago? It was gone then. The one you have now will be gone, too.”
- I help her focus on something else so her frustration slowly fades and she calms down
- I help her become “friends” with the current annoyance. For example, now that she has a clogged nose, I taught her to make animal verses come out very good with a nose like that.
She will still whine, but less so.
How do you teach your kids patience?
I’d love it if you could share your experience in the comments. Thank you!
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